-- So Close and yet So So Far --

2010-12-26T23:00:00.001+08:00

n i wished i had the courage to hold your hand..

2010-07-28T14:58:00.001+08:00

when can i be unaffected..?

2010-05-04T00:47:00.002+08:00

明知道我爱你却不敢告诉你
我害怕失去你宁愿沉默不语

2010-04-21T02:31:00.001+08:00

can we pretend that the airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars..? i could really use a wish right now.

2010-02-18T19:37:00.001+08:00

and somehow i wish you knew.. :(

2010-01-10T23:22:00.004+08:00

oh well..

birdman actually got it right this time..

the fact is that it started even before the guess.

but i noe i cant admit to it..

for fear of losing you even as a fren..

i miss you..

yet i know i can't say it out.. :(

get well soon.

当你在心灵的深处惦念一个人时，思念和想念的心情时时围绕着你，但这种心情却不能表达，这是一种永远不能表达的心情，因为你并不想让对方知道你的惦念，也不想期盼能得到对方的任何回报，你只能悄悄地把这份惦念放在心里。

change of believes

2009-11-25T12:51:00.001+08:00

fyck true love.

nv will i bliff in wat true love again.

but one thing i will bliff in is karma.

what goes around will eventually come around.

heart-wrenching

2009-11-13T00:06:00.004+08:00

today.. a family member passed away..

at least to me.. it has oways been a part of our family..

my dog left us this morning.. a very very painful moment..
and yet i did not even see it for the last time..

sorry for not bringing you to the doc earlier..
sorry for not playing with you more often..
sorry for not spending more time with you..

memories of the past whr we took you for walks and the times i fed and play with you..
it's just so hard to forget..

i just cant forget the picture of you lying there weakly.. unable to even stand up..

if you could hear this up there.. we miss you.. and we love you..

hope you will have a better life up there..

and may you be blessed with gd food and gd health always..

you will oways be in our hearts and remembered..

r.i.p boy.
121109

2009-10-26T23:36:00.001+08:00

两个喜欢对方的人在一起，真的有那么难吗....

想

2009-10-12T23:52:00.002+08:00

我很羡慕你，你可以选择想我或不想我，我只能想你或更想你。。。

dunno..

2009-10-11T23:22:00.001+08:00

i rly dunno wat ur thinking..

ur so hard to decipher.. =(

2009-09-26T22:25:00.002+08:00

proven again dat time flies whenever its with you.

and im rly sry for wat i did,

though i noe ur not angry n dun mind, i dunno how u think.

but aft i got another female's opinion, she said it's quite a gd sign.

i hope so.

once again. dui bu qi =(

=(

2009-09-24T23:08:00.003+08:00

time with you just seems to pass so quickly..

and it seems so so so not enuff..

=((

2009-09-20T23:23:00.000+08:00

i jus dun feel like doin anything..

anymore..

i think i've kamikazED myself.

gre8.

2009-09-13T20:29:00.001+08:00

think wad u like ba.

im too exhausted to explain further.

u wanna think of it as an excuse den an excuse it shall be den.

enjoy ur life wif ur new found morning call bf.

tc.

shall end here. this will be my final post.

2009-09-11T20:36:00.003+08:00

well looks like u hav found another one wif a similar name.

must be the same person whom i saw dat time n i asked u to cut contact with.

speaks for it all.

enjoy then. =)

time to hit off out.. ciao bloggie.

2009-09-06T14:57:00.000+08:00

我爱你好爱你

我恨你好恨你

对不起谢谢

nice song.

2009-09-05T14:12:00.001+08:00

damn damn damn work sucks max.

im friggin tired lately.

n yet i cant get to slp ezily.

omfg.

sigh.

2009-09-01T14:27:00.002+08:00

what disappoints me most is when you said.. "do u think we will last that long?"

and somehow it jus makes me feel so sad..

that somehow if we get back tgt, u r getting back for e sake of gettin back..

and somehow it's not for the longterm future..

oh well..

2009-08-31T05:58:00.001+08:00

i dunno wat to say..

i dunno wat to do..

sigh..

2009-08-28T08:59:00.001+08:00

and when i mean starting all over..

i mean.. with you..

2009-08-28T01:33:00.001+08:00

at times.. i just thought of forgetting everything..

and starting all over again..

2009-08-27T09:00:00.000+08:00

somehow, i miss the happy days we had tgt..

and i really miss you..

我终于知道曲终人散的寂寞
只有伤心人才有

2009-08-24T15:25:00.001+08:00

and somehow, i feel empty, very empty.

2009-08-24T14:41:00.004+08:00

u came up with the wed theatrics..

and now ur trying to bargain with me..

im sorry to inform you i have to come up with this extreme measures to prevent it from ever happening again.

if u did wrong, and not willing to face the consequences and cant accept it.. den i regret to say so be it ba..

deep deep down, it saddens me

not the same?

2009-08-23T16:21:00.001+08:00

will everything be different?

i really dunno until we try. oh well let's see then.

disappointed

2009-08-16T15:16:00.001+08:00

yes.. im MASSIVELY disappointed..

re-thinking. everything.

2009-08-11T14:21:00.001+08:00

im missing you..

and nobody knows it but me.

hao xin hao bao

2009-08-10T19:32:00.002+08:00

seems like u still dun get wat i mean.. if i feel the nd to tell u.. i WILL tell u.. if it's just a simple meal and dat's all, i dun see the nd to report every single thing. like for eg if i meet a gal at night den ok i will tell u like dat time, i dint hide anything. if i wanted to hide, i wld not hav say anything at all. and if i wanted to hide, i wun even tell u the truth. i cld hav lied but did i?

with regards to ur skipping sch, i hope ur more sensible as in not only skipping to meet me.. i hope u will grow up and stop skipping for nth jus becuz one module u can skip a few x doesnt mean u have to skip until the last time den u stop. if ur really sick or nt feeling well den ok i dun blame u, but skipping sch to meet frens? to jus slack arnd? srsly its time to grow out of it.

and rgrding ur partying ways, i hav long highlighted to you that i dislike my gf to keep going club alr.. if ur gonna cont ur partying ways now and ur saying that it takes time to revert back. den i suggest we wait till den. if not, quarrels and arguements will be over and over again. it's gonna be redundant if we jus quarrel the same things non-stop.

and i feel by letting u go club, im alrding giving in alot alr. like i said, u shld hav known dat i DONT LIKE my gf to go club. by letting u go, u think im nt giving in? sigh..

running thru.

2009-08-09T20:08:00.002+08:00

many thoughts are running through my mind.

most imptly

1. will u change for e better and cut down ur partying ways?

2. will u trust me n stop listening to what others say and stop doubting?

3. will u start to be more sensible for eg. stop skipping classes just to meet me or even worse for nth?

4. will e same things happen again?

o well..

thoughts.

2009-08-07T16:28:00.001+08:00

im thinking..

shld we really both giv each other another try..?

haiz.

2009-08-07T14:47:00.002+08:00

why wait for everything to come to this pt before regret?

if i giv u a chance now, ask urself wld you cherish it?

ur still cont ur party ways.

so don't.

don't say it's too late for regrets when i dun see it at all.

chances..

2009-08-07T14:15:00.002+08:00

did u mention regret?

ask urself how many times did i ask u is that your final decision?

what was your reply all along?

and then coming at e end of e day to tell me dat actually u dun mean it?

how many chances did i gave u to take back the decision?

stop toying with me. thanks.

2009-08-07T01:24:00.002+08:00

thx to dawn n vix for acc me to ktv today.

makes me feel that bit better.

but oh well, back to mask days.

where i will hide my sorrowful face with a smile.

我真的受傷了

where were you

2009-08-06T19:58:00.004+08:00

u keep asking to show me care n concern.

but let me ask u.

where were u when i needed some concern den?

u think jus becuz i sound ok and act ok. everything is ok.

i din wan u to skip sch n such is cuz i felt is pointless and no gd.

but wat abt my work?

nv once did u ask bout how was my work.

did you know how stress i am at work?

did you know how tired i am there?

oh no. of cuz u don't.

sometimes i feel like slpin straight when i come home.

sometimes i feel like quitting.

sometimes i feel like shouting out loud.

but u dun know a thing.

all you know is about you you and you.

u have given me the best bday present ever.

"even if we ok now, i wun meet u tml even if it's ur bday. i will feel awkward."

omg. aint that the best present dat u cld receive?

thanks.

im not sarca. im serious.

thanks for letting me see thru this earlier.

how mature n selfish u are.

i know i also play a part in this. blame if for everything ba if it makes u happy.

but ask urself wat was the major cause, the major factor.

if u cant see it, den so be it. anyway, it's already gone.

sunk

2009-08-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

so many things in my mind.

yet i dunno wat to say

i dunno wat to blog.

was it right from the start?

was it wrong from the middle?

是习惯，依赖，还是爱?

i really am lost.

but i do know a thing.

i teared. miraculously.

xxx

2009-07-09T08:36:00.000+08:00

just 1 more tick to reach my limit =))

hit me baby one more.

come on.

just one more =))

sorry?

2009-07-09T01:06:00.001+08:00

sorry isnt gonna help

sorry aint no cure.

well done.

gd night.

=))

kind of funny. kind of sad.

2009-07-02T08:01:00.000+08:00

wat's done is done.

i shant say anything nor show any emotions.

wadeva upcoming happens. dun blame me.

i find it kinda funny. i find it kinda sad.

it's a mad world.

willingness

2009-06-16T14:05:00.001+08:00

mayb if u cld change ur attitude towards this, everything wld b better

what im seeking is ur willingness

and not think it's been forced on u.

but i noe. dat day will nv arrive.

and u will not understand my point. till at least u grow up.

stop it.

2009-06-16T02:49:00.001+08:00

all this stalking is gettin unhealthy.

something or someone in this world plz stop it soon.

or it's gonna turn ugly.

i believe in everyone having their own space.

plz show each other some respect.

tired.

how many?

2009-05-26T19:08:00.001+08:00

saw smth yesterday.. which makes me wonder..

just how many ppl who are together at this moment.. are truly in love with each other?

u will nv noe..

2009-05-26T00:12:00.001+08:00

u'll nv noe how i feel..

u think ur e only 1 upset..

u think ur upset is bigger than mine..

fine den.. im too tired to say anything..

lost..

2009-05-25T00:58:00.001+08:00

i lost my watch..

argh. fyck.

change.. again!

2009-05-21T23:30:00.003+08:00

wanted to blog yesterday but couldnt find time.

had a meeting yesterday at north bridge and well marc is leaving maybank..

yes the boss who started dbc..

though we are under him for like onli a few wks,i can still feel he's a good boss and it's really sad and pity that he's gonna leave..

he gave a pep talk to the whole of dbc which i think was quite meaningful..

i remember he saying smth like "ppl hav dreams. dreams are priceless. priceless can mean it either worth nothing or it is too valuable. it depends on how u want it to be. so go for your dream and do not regret not doing it now. make the dream the real priceless."

a few simple sentences, yet making so much sense.

and he fought hard to hold back his tears while talking to us.

all the best for his new position in the foreign bank. heard it's gonna be a big one.

and he's realising his dream. =)

nxt is mine. i wan an R8! =)

and they're gonna hold a farewell party after work for him nxt wk. dunno which day yet though. but i guess it's friday.

hope dun hav to pay. im dead broke. =(
but can get to drink! muahahha =)

anyway he also mentioned bout some restructing which will take place nxt wk.

shall wait and see wat change again. sigh.

in e meantime, shall keep a lookout for other valuable opportunities elsewhere.

AND AND AND.. EXAMS ARE OVER!!!

it's time to PARTEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! =)

FF CONCERT THIS SAT!!! BRING IT ON!

2009-05-15T00:14:00.000+08:00

2 more down.

1 last mammoth standing.

i need a bankai.

1 down

2009-05-08T00:41:00.000+08:00

1 down.

3 to go.

screw it..

2009-05-06T23:50:00.002+08:00

tml is the start of doomsday!

argh. fuck.

4 giants to slay.

let the battle begin.

pray fer me.

ridiculous

2009-04-18T14:52:00.000+08:00

ridiculous.

how do you spell it?

R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S

pte

2009-04-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

think im gonna cre8 1 private seperate blog then..

or mayb jus privatized this..

wadeva la k.

fuck everything.

fuck everyone.

k.

haix

2009-04-07T20:29:00.002+08:00

lots of events took place recently..

dun wanna say much but well.. this recent turn of events makes me realise alot of things..

hope everything will get better soon..

been goin out late very frequent nowadays.. tiring but fufilling.

study sux.

galatea owns.

gotta find a way to reduce my dark circles.. its gettin worst!

any help? argh...

breakdown

2009-03-25T19:59:00.002+08:00

sry for the harsh tone this morning..

but i am seriously feeling like a criminal..

i noe i did u wrong in the past.. but i can tell u if u are to cont like this..

im gonna breakdown soon..

if ur saying like the thing occured 1 day or 1 week ago, i will understand ur behaviour.

but its not.. and u r gre8tly n i mean GRE8TLY intruding me by ur behaviour.

which i feel is like no respect at all..

this is NOT saying who's right n who's wrong. nor am i saying you are completely wrong.

but everything must have its limit.

it's like the feeling of im being watched everywhere i go, everything i do.

and this sucks. completely.

if this is gonna continue, i suggest we jus end it now.. its better for a shorter pain than a longer one..

sigh.. ppl who nv really started work really dunno the stress out thr..

less said coping with studies..

------- <--- my limit is here
------- <--- and my state is here already.

-------

im not blaming you. i jus hope you better change this paranoid thingy of urs.

nite.

updates..

2009-03-18T20:22:00.003+08:00

alot of things..

ive finally moved back to civilisation for work.. but jocelyn's no longer in the company..

one less crappin person around.. one less fun..

studies are driving me mad.. i think im gonna flung the cf badly..

i nd $$$.. lots n lots of them..

n i feel fycked up now.. totally..

i hate myself..

fcuked up day

2009-03-11T01:26:00.000+08:00

argh.

today is a fcuked up day.

totally.

nothing is going right.

forsake

2009-03-09T14:02:00.006+08:00

u keep saying your life is miserable.
in what way may i ask.
have u really think of so many ppl out thr whose life is REALLY miserable?
i suggest you take a step back and look at misery as a WHOLE before you deem your life miserable.

if you are saying you are miserable, i can tell you my life is MUCH more miserable than you.
u think jus cuz ppl talks to me on msn,
ppl calls me out,
i have my own life of going out and going to club,
den life aint miserable?
i can tell you u have not really tasted REAL misery.
u have not seen uni life. how fcukin misery it is.
u have not seen office politics. how fcukin terrifying it can be.
u have not seen family almost being torn in shreds. how fcukin painful it can be.
u have not seen brain-busting quarrels. hwo fcukin retarded it can get.
since you think your life is miserable, why don't i trade mine with yours?
where i have really MUCH less to worry about?
having tons of free time doesnt EQUATE to misery for gods sake.

and to think u have quitted ur job.
if its jus cuz u have to wake up early every morning.
if its cuz ur frens are not working den u have to quit.
i guess u r really not there..
i dun wanna use the word to avoid meaningless arguments.
since u rather enjoy rotting at home, den congrats u have attained it.
nobody forsaked you. you have forsaken yourself.

i still rem you smsing before saying u will try to be understanding?
u call this understanding?
mayb we shld relook at this.. everything.
mad and gravely disappointed.

i dun wan to say anymore.. im havin enuff of misery myself..
exams alone is driving me crazy.. less said other problems..

last prelim paper tml n im gonna take a wk of break aft dat..

i need a getaway. me. myself. and i.

bye.

dead and gone

2009-03-01T21:50:00.000+08:00

i've been traveling
on this road to long
just trying to find
my way back home
the old me is dead and gone
dead and gone.. =]

confused.

2009-02-24T01:51:00.001+08:00

haix. wat shld i do..

dead n gone.. =[

far

2009-02-21T14:02:00.002+08:00

im startin to love my watch more n more..

but it all seems further n further..

mug mug mug

2009-02-18T09:59:00.000+08:00

study study study.

argh.

it's driving me nuts!

fyck.

soreeeeeee throat.

2009-02-12T19:45:00.004+08:00

damn it. my throat still hurts..

ARGHHHH.. shld i go work tmll??

despite my throat i still cont to eat spicy stuff and heaty things..

im asking for it.. LOL.. but who cares..

the pineapple tarts and hei bi hiam lily brought were too tempting..

and food sucks without chilli. =]

actually din wan to go to work today, but to meet mmr for lunch.. well i had too =]

better appreciate it =] hehe..

and i wld also like to thank mmr for buying me herbal tea, strepsils for my throat and 2 bread in case i got hungry in the afternoon. ty mmr <3 u more. =]

to ad: eh nv mention ar? HAHA OK LA!

to ad n ivan:
meet up soon leh! u 2 like oways v bz.. 1 of u plz plan can? im oways the freeest la.. =] MISS U ALL DEEP DEEP. N TO IVAN TAN, PLZ BRING ALONG QING YUN I WAN TO SEEEEE! n i think ad wans to see too. HAHA!

and ks n seb wan to ktv tml. lol. i think my throat is crying for help alrdy still wan ktv.. haha.

work's still as nonsense as usual with the colleagues around me. haha
leon will oways be the one gettin shot most of the time by me jocelyn n lily n nxt in line is me..
haix.. will miss the days after jocelyn leaves.. =[

and will be moving back to tower in mid march.. yeahhhh!!! =]

gotta work on sat n class on sun. fycks!

SHLD I MC TML!? SHLD I?!

fate shall dpend on mmr. shall ask her smth later. her decision will affect my decision. =]

o yes thanks to leon n sylvia for helping me up the cab last wk.
damn 2nd time got drunk outside. didnt even managed to go down dance floor. wtfff.
luckily entrance was free. but nevertheless i will make a comeback e nxt time.
scheduled for 27th in the mean time =]
almost lost my wallet too. luckily everythin came back except the cash -_-
but well, ty taxi driver.

sick.. again!

2009-02-09T12:18:00.003+08:00

damn it.. i dunno whether to go sch.. sigh

1. no one's going.. cuz only 1 class today
2. im falling sick.. my throat is god damn pain now..
3. the class is being taught by a gremlin..

argh. but the main thing is fyck WHY AM I FALLING SICK AGAIN!

must be the excessive chilli i ate yest for the chicken rice.
and the insufficient intake of water aft my hangover.

talking bout that. thx to sylvia n especially leon for helping me into the cab n leon for bringing me back.
first time i got seh in a club. fyck. din even go down to dance floor.
wat a waste. luckily entrance no nd money.
killed by jug.jug.jug.jagerbomb.jug.ak47.flaminglambo.jug.
chrisitina said the music was gd dat nite =[
o boy.. guess we'll hav to wait until end of month again. =[

GET WELL SOON WJ!

happy niu yr

2009-01-29T23:40:00.002+08:00

first of all happy niu yr to everyone. =]

new year is as bored as usual. haha.

but well at least i caught up on my rest. but somehow im still feeling extremely tired.

think i nd to go to c the doc soon. =[

same old work n study life for the past few wks.

phutured wif leon on sat. was introed to christina and sylvia and got to noe a few more ppl thr. fun =]

well, i dunno wat to blog.

tml will be taking 1/2 day off to take my wife to the hospital.. aft suffering so much injuries.. finally..

lost her left eye =[ emo =[

sorry e for scaring u dat day.. fcyk dat car.. n i still dunno if i made e right decision till now.

n sry jz. i noe its v v unfair on you..

im really sry if i hurt u in anyway e..

time has made me who i am today.. like i told u i dunno why i just love to club so much now..

if i hav the $$ i wld jus go everywk..

one grave lesson i learn. is dat nv love a person too much..

now i rather the person love me more than i love her.. dat's why im being honest wif u..

sry e..

and well, somehow the dog still has e face to show up at my hse. rofl. joke.

signing off. no mood to blog at e mention of this. nite.

hope it gives u hell!

2009-01-22T00:21:00.001+08:00

im sry.. really sry..

i dunno wat im doin.. sigh..

really hope to turn back the pendulum now..

grrrrrr... someone plz jus kill me. =[

and yes 1 more update, once the court case is over, i wan go 4 horse road.

ty. hope it turns out fine. =]

-----------------

HOPE IT GIVES U HELL!

barking dogs

2009-01-15T19:41:00.002+08:00

haha some dogs jus think im dumb.

ppl who noe my blog r olny a few which i can use my fingers to count.

and somehow this dog wants to claim be a "passer-by", even though i alrdy noe who it is.

so be it.

i cant be bothered wif it.

it can bark all it like thr.

i hav too lil time and energy to be bothered wif it.

damn tired at work today.

not been slping for long or well these few days.

i shall not say whr im goin tml night.

those who noe r only my butties =)

but aft goin out wif u-noe-i-noe-who,

vix is askin me to go to rebel or smth, a pub at bq i guess.

he says esther asked him out and she will be bringin 2 gals.

and he ask leon n me to acc him. doubt leon will go.

n im not sure wat time i wld be ending my date wif u-noe-i-noe-who.

so i guess im most probably out too.

mayb nxt time yea?

deja vu

2009-01-15T01:15:00.000+08:00

a sense of deja vu -_-

wadeva it is, i hope wadeva choice i make will be the best.
i wan to solve my shit first.

even younger ppl hav wat it takes to beat some ppl n behave more maturely than u were at at your age. how sad.

anyway, to my other frens. yes i am missing u guys alot.
lets meet up soon.

to lin, celeb, victor, yl n others
hehe sry for keep psing u all. been v bz lately
let's meetup soon :)

to vix
hope ur chest get better man and ur health is ok.
its gd dat u r quittin smoking!
keep it up!

to kk
i can see ur irritating factor is still thr. but wadeva it is.
ur still a gre8 buttie. ty for being thr for me during that tough time.
u r v xian shi huh. sms u got gd deal den call me. cb. lol
anyway i wan ur HDD stuffs. so leave it for me. :)

to lm
im seeing this gaylord like 3 days a week?
so most of my stuffs he knows. or rather shld i say all?
haha. ok he's gettin a car. glad for him.
and also myself cuz i'll be gettin rides home.
and WHEN WANNA CLUB? he say nxt fri let's see.
hehe

to qj n others
hope u r all doin well. meet up soon :)

to xq n others
sry for keep being unable to turn up for dinners u hav asked/planned.
but i will try to make it ok!?
tc :)

to pan n gang
muahaha. how can i forget chiu all?
i ish love chiu all deep deep
and may our WCG dreams come true.
may pan get well soon.
and yes seb u wan zoo or ktv this wk, u better go plans. hehe
and gd luck to u for bertina. <3

unwelcome visitors

2009-01-15T00:41:00.001+08:00

ar well. make urselfs at home tards. :)

i have privatised the post to keep off tards.

n u think u like dat i dunno who u r? haha. retarded fool.

wat i am today is thanks to the past i have gone thru.

thank YOU. =]

fycks

2009-01-06T01:42:00.009+08:00

sigh @ everything.

tml is macroecons test n yet i onli browsed thru briefly. ggxed.
i think im gonna skip it tml. and i MUST start my muggin session soon. airport? maybe.

anyway had NYE wif the gang yet again at downtown east chalet booked by p's godsis, der.
dat nite was pure havoc. haha.
poker games, wii, drinking (although i onli drank a cup cuz i drive. sads), wrestling, kping and many more. joke of e night = seb. kping non-stop aft he got drunk. even after management come, still cont kp. LOL.

anyway, b4 he got drunk, he brought me to find his fren who was also at downtown east. saw her pic a few days back b4 e chalet n i pestered him to bring me. =)
then, got to know jz. but she's seldom online! sigh.
but managed to talk to her yest. full of crap. one cute gal. haha.
ive sinned. =(
but well, welcome to the world of players.
thx to what ive been thru. =)

new year day itself went back to chalet again for bbq. and the main highlight of e night was qy's stunt.
more powerful den flaming lambo. he jus poured the liquor in his mouth n set it alight wif his lighter. n 2secs down it.
pan followed suit, but spitted it out due to too flaming. LOL. jokes.
xh took down all the vids. but she onli sent to pan.
gotta ask him to send me the vid soon. haa.
many others followed aft dat and all became success, inc pan aft 2nd try.

n LM's gonna be back from BKK TML! hope he gets wat i told him to get. den i dun hav to shop much for CNY riaossssssssss. :)

family probs is recurring again. pissing me off greatly. -_-
swear im gonna go interview for cabin crew if i fail badly for the upcoming exams.
i wanna get out of this shithole.
i will stop study. totally moodless to read any materials aft NS. fyck.
free travelling. to see the world. when im young. fun fun fun. but dat's if i get thru it.
jocelyn said emirates is better. n ive seen e website. looks nt bad. but e only bad thing is based in dubai. :(

also rememberd talking to her bout bgr n r/s probs during work time, n we came up wif lots of theories etc. haha funny. she say its more of a hassle den heartbrk if she were to brk up wif her bf now cuz hav to find a new one and they must get used to each other's bad habits etc etc. funny but true. and i ask her to hlp me think of reasons for brkup. she can come up wif tons of it. salutes.

i know im bad.
certain circumstances ppl, and the environment have changed me to what i am today.
i love my frens and my life now.
but i really miss jz. :(

i think seb feels he has sinned. and E's gonna kill me.

post xmas

2008-12-29T23:23:00.002+08:00

received a few gifts from my colleagues which i have to thank them for.

the dinner at naked fish wasnt fantastic. but luckily it was paid for. by our boss. hehe.

proceeded with the gift exchange aft the dinner. i was the first to open. and i got 1 "tissue box" from matin. haha. which contained a portugal jersey inside. thx!

n the rest proceeded to open theirs. on my side i bought for jocelyn a big BAD BOSS voodoo doll. haha. hope she finds it "useful". LOL.

eve of xmas. went to meet up wif e peeps at wdls. pan seb roois n xh sat my car. while others camped in des. seb n pan were like shouting HOHOHO MERRY XMAS to those ppl outside while in my car. and some even entertained them by waving back. lol man.
waited for barn to get the 3rd car and also for ks and hot. went to dempsey hill aft that. the funny part was that des was driving side by side and qy was in the car actin like 1 tard pointing middle finger at us and when he point until sibei song i jus turn left into dempsey and they were too late to made the turning. rofl.

went to reddot brewery. quite a nice atmosphere. chilled there fer while. den went to some place to eat which i dunno whr. i jus follow. =). last destination was wcp whr they had a few "games" thr before we went home.

nye's next!

wahhhh

2008-12-23T13:58:00.002+08:00

i still cry for you.
i would die for you.
i cant believe all the words i heard you say.
i still long for you.
i was strong for you.
i cant believe that you'd throw it all away.

xmas is nearing. the emoness increasing.

y must xmas oways be emo? :(

missing me

2008-12-22T13:48:00.003+08:00

brings back lots of memories and feelings while hearing the song play on the background.
well, hav to thank pan for this. -_-
damn emo song.
but it's very very nice.

3 more days to xmas.
having my dept dinner tml at naked fish.
and another dinner with the peeps at dunno whr yet. they r still planning.
advance merry xmas to all! :)

cause even when i miss u,
ur still not missing me.. :(

---------------------------------------------------------

I love the way it feels when you touch my hand
Don't wanna let you go
I love the way you say that I am your man
Don't understand why we can't go on and go on
Don't understand why
You don't belong in my arms

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
I just don't understand
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The memories of you here with me by my side
I can't deny that you are the love of my life

Ohh

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

And I still cry for you
And I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
And I still long for you
And I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

respect

2008-12-16T02:14:00.003+08:00

well, ive gotta hand it to my dad.

despite knowing that im facing this huge pile of shit, he can still talk to me calmly.

and offered to help.

respect.

i swear if i hav the money, im gonna get outta this screwed up country. no not temporarily, but permanently.

to taiwan, hong kong, japan, dubai, australia, canada, venice, or europe?

that is if i have the money. duh.

emo

2008-12-13T23:09:00.003+08:00

well.. seems like my blog still have some visitors.. haha..
no nd say i also noe who are these ppl. =)

well neeway, shant talk bout those saddening stuffs for now. jus dampens my mood.
i bliff everything will have its way out. so lets enjoy the upcoming xmas and new year first.
those who are updated with my current status are only a few. best to keep these low profile.

zoukout's today. pan n others are there. WHY AM I HERE??? well..
1. she wun let me go.
2. no money. being clubbing the past 2 weeks and spent alot already. last wk dbl o was nt bad. we shld consider switching to thr instead of phuturing. though the music is not as gd as phuture. =(

and L said that he found some new clubbing kas, hope i can see them on our next club session. maybe nxt month? hehe. =)

n i went marche with the peeps last wk at vivo. were saying that the marche at vivo had these cosy feeling and feels like we are overseas at those countries whr its snowing outside and we are inside a cottage eating. cuz that day was raining also and the whole ambience was v gd. lol.

and xmas is COMINGGGG. they say we shld pitch a tent at the beach and get cosy tgt. haha nice idea. we can also plant a xmas tree thr and sign aul lang sye. LOL. n seb volunteered to bring a generator. yes. wtf. haha. let's c how it goes.

gg

2008-12-02T01:29:00.001+08:00

received the letter..
think im going to jail..
gg..

xmas gift

2008-11-25T01:17:00.004+08:00

the ch 8 9pm show is quite touching. shows how true love can overcome all obstacles. even when e other party did a v v grave wrong, he was forgiven by his ever loving wife and they cont the rest of their lives tgt.

well. this of cuz depicts how stupid ive been these past 4 years. thinkin it was true love.
did one silly mistake but was never forgiven. and stupid me for puttin up for 4 years of nonsense. haha. wasted 4 yrs of my life. but i shant do it again.

maybe except for a certain some1.

true love is one that forgives. true love is one that overcomes all hardships.

well what ks told me that time when we had a chat was true. when u really love someone v deep, and u brk off, u cant be frens anymore.. cuz the situation is too awkard.
it's only when u treat it as a fling or u have not given in totally, den you will still be able to be frens..

-----------------------------------------------

anyway sent in my appeal letter today. but well i think im still going to court..
sigh.. that is my xmas gift for 08. T_T

wadeva it is. let's hope for e best.

will receive the letter soon. see what i can do then.. haiz.

thx to those who wish me lucks like pan, sebs, alex and of cuz luvs.

hope things will get better from now.

xmas n new year is coming.. i cant wait for it.. but this damn thing is dampening my spirits..

wadeva it is, i think its gonna be fun wif those peeps around. haha.

ok. will update soon again. gotta go slp now.. tml morning still hav to go all e way down to orchard to cut my hair. yes.. finally.. lol..

hitting phuture on friday! can't wait!

nite ppl.

suayness

2008-11-15T00:26:00.002+08:00

sigh these few weeks have been v suay..

went to pray at guan yin temple at 4 horse road on sat last week.. hope everythin will get better..
steamboats wif pan, sebs and luvs at chong qing steamboat at shaw house. shiok. especially the mala soups.

well i received the damn letter today askin me to go down nxt fri for investigation. wadevas. im calling them tml to shift to monday. get it done n over with.

PRAY FOR ME GUYS!

update update update!

2008-11-03T23:31:00.002+08:00

wow.. so long since ive update..

been really really bz bz bz bz..

life's not boring nowadays BUT TIRING! haha.

O GAWD I NEED 48 HRS A DAY. IM SO LACK OF SLEEEP!!!

i really cant remember wat i did these few weeks that i never update.. but well one thing's for sure..

MY CAR PETROL IS KILLING ME LA!!

NOW IM DRIVING LIKE EVERYDAY.. TO WORK TO SCH.. sigh.. and almost every nite also USE.. woa lan..

ok wadeva..

last sat went down to cafe del mar to celebrate ks birthday.

too bad our plan failed yet again.. LOUIS NV GO DOWN! :(

well i kinda pity ks.. seems like nobody wanna fork out $$ for his bday xcept seb hw and me -_-

but well hope they will do smth bout this..

this week is goin to be another bz week.

fri movie wif lm gy dawn n qj

sat bbq at viki's house. OMG. CAN SOMEONE PLS TURN BACK TIME!!! I NEED SLP!!

AND I NEED TO REVISE FOR MY TEST NXT WK LAAAAA!!!~~~

GOT TWO SUMORE!!! -__-

and wif this. it means im gonna meet her less this week. sigh.

she said she's gonna miss me. :D

n im gonna miss her too :(

zzz

2008-10-16T23:38:00.001+08:00

lots of things happened within these few days.

well thanks for all ur counseling n advices bros.. :)

glad to hav u guys arnd.

fyck all the bitches.

bros over holes.

hell broke loose

2008-10-13T01:53:00.003+08:00

jus back from ks house.

pan's alright. at least it seems so besides the occasional bouts of dizziness and pain.

at least he's alive.

thank god he and hong wei survived the ordeal last night man.

i wun say anythin here.

interested to know den ask me ba.. but i think its not worth mentioning.

18 stitches on his head. omg..

hope barn stops blaming himself..

those fuckers will get their karma. fuckin police are useless.

and to that bitch who blocked us from helping pan. _!_ u.

wtf is wrong with saving a friend?

cld c how barn and xh were pissed off wif her at sgh.

eileen cried when it happened. yes. luckily nth happened to her.

fuckin bastards.

and my fuckin tyre blew today on TPE. cheebs.

how suay can life get. gonna scout for a new one tml. sigh.

hectic

2008-10-10T23:48:00.003+08:00

well another hectic week for me.

too lazys to blog. but well met met for the past 3 days after work.

jus came back from ikea after fetchin her home jus now.

had a fufilling meal wif the meatballs and chicken wings again!

past 2 days she came down to my hse area to look for me. surprise surprise.

n talkin bout she is lazy... haha.

TML DOWN TO 12E. YES.. AGAIN! this time its barn birthday.

wonder who's gonna start the merlion ceremony this round. hahaha.

another hole in the pockets. omg. but well. wat r pals for? :)

n sunday still hav to go to matin's house after he invited us for the hari raya celebrations.

jocelyn, tanty and L will be goins.

fcukin BZ!

LOL

2008-10-07T04:30:00.002+08:00

fycks.

KS sent me a pic of louis yest n i fuckin cannot takes it. SO FUCKIN FUNNY!!! WAHHAHAHAHAAH!!! his face is like the fuckin da lu zai from the zhou xing chi movie la!
LOL!

neeways I FUCKIN SURVIVED THRU 8.5 HOURS OF HELL TODAY! YEAH.
WELL DONE WJ!
met the gang aft my lesson.
went to clementi station to pick eileen up.
well, im quite surprised n touched she wld actually offer to come down to SIM to look for me la provided she is so lazyss.
but anyway i was released early. so went to the station to pick her. she claimed she wanted to look around SIM. haha. its ok you hav other times :)

went down to jurong to pick seb first and down to the mkt place to wait for the rest.
too hungry alrdy as my last meal was at 1pm. ordered some stuffs to share wif seb
and finally eileen decided to queue for the nasi lemak first as she was falling aslp. wtfs.
joined her in the queue and seb joined shortly after.
YES FINALLY GOT TO EAT THE NASI LEMAK AGAIN. good food!
worth the wait.

pan and the rest were still on the way aft we 3 finished our food la. knns.
pan, jon, alex, louis, xh n her 3 frens came shortly after. with barn, ks and qy still circling around aimlessly as they were LOST. haha.
can u believe it. aft pan ate finish, then the 3 musketeers finally arrived. lol.
anyway waited for them to eat and chatted around.

went to jurong hill suggested by seb aft that. stayed thr n cont talkin craps and it has a nice view of jurong island! looks v lonely though =(
2am alrd n sent eileen backs and finally came back home.

ok times to knock off.
gd nite.

jeans down

2008-10-06T01:51:00.003+08:00

ok. today almost rotted at home thx to L the faggot.
dun wan to pick up call or call back. CHEEBS!
luckily eileen acc me down to qw to get my jeans.
ok now at least jeans down. still hav coat and cap!

went qw den to bugis.
cld c she was quite bored at the arcade so i sucided in my TC4 game.
lol.
suppered at alameen and sent her back.

nxt destination: BOON LAY NASI LEMAK. TML!

but.. but.. BUT.. fcukin 9 HOURS OF HELL TML FIRST BEFORE THAT! ARGH.

class from 12pm-10pm. who can fuckin survive that. sigh. thinking of skipping some.

but well. im enjoying life as it is now. glad to know pan and bunch.

yeap. u all have made my life more enjoyable! thanks alot~

though u guys live far from me. ill gladly travel to meet u guys. :)

rotttt

2008-10-05T04:04:00.002+08:00

well, one rotting day at home.

someone whom i do not wish to see came to my hse in the afternoon.
also gd. take back all ur stuffs. i do not wish to hav anythin to do wif you.
the sad part is i still hav some stuffs which i left in my room and did not bring out. fcuks.
nvm will dispose of them e coming new yr when i clean my room.
locked myself in my room till she was gone.

met qj, dawn, vix and L for ktv session in e night.
its been like so long since we came out tgt. neeways did some catching up wif everyone.
and suppered at the wanton stall aft dat. as usual the food was gre8! =)
eileen and qy were smsing me during e ktv wif diff stuffs la. wtf
one say wan mj e other say no dun hav..
in e end dun hav. well it's ok folks we still hav other days :)
and i do not hav to travel so far to wdls in 3am in the mornings. wtfs.
haha. but if really hav i wld gladly do so for you guys. =)

ok signing off. nites

pain ball.

2008-10-04T02:39:00.003+08:00

well.. had a gre8 n fun session of paintball or rather PAIN ball wif pan n gang.

4 rounds of mass shootings, dodging, shouting and planning.

got shot the most in the last round when seb was KOed. lol

fycks. pain everywhere la. lol. but 3rd round was ji tao zua QY wif alex. non-stop. HAHAHAHA. fyckin funny.

its been so long since ive ran arnd, panting, shouting, and legs r damn wobbly now.

its been so long since ive donned that no.4. felt a sense of euphoria aft putting it on. LOL.

the plan to pwn toh has failed. its ok. he shall hav his karma soon for making me moodswing. cbs.

cut shorts

2008-10-03T02:12:00.003+08:00

lazy to blog recently.. too tired mans.. fcuks.

ok cutting short

mon - i totally forget if i did go anywhere aft sch. i think it was changi wif pan, qy jon n louis. n we were fuckin amazed by a water sprout at the beach which i think was caused by the turbulence by the planes. we waited for a few more planes n this is the first time i felt so like noobs. nevertheless, pan nv fails to go around ji siaoing those bakpohs. lol.

tues - ok 1 lesson at 3.30. and i left at half-time. a bit no moods that day also. went down to wdls to pick eileen n down to suntec to the motorshow. was a fuckin waste of $$$. even worse than the expo one. cheesepie. onli 1 lambo on show? wtfs. and yea. went to sit the sg flyer FINALLY aft the opening for so long wif her. thx to 2 free tix from my aunt. haha. 20-30mins of slow motion. imo, dun waste the $$, its not worth it. den went back to wdls to meet pan, jon, qy and xh to eat supper at arnd yishun area. the meefen was gooooods.

wed - HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY! ok where e fug i went to? let me think.. yes went vivocity wif alvin. wanted to get shoes from river isle, clothes from zara, jeans from topman and coat from anywhere. but i ended up only buying 1 shorts from freshbox. WTFFFsss. actually wanted to cut my hair but lily was off. sads. eileen came down to vivo to find me. had carls junior for dinner wif vin and walked arnd after dinner wif eileen after vin went off wif his fren cuz its was like the 3rd time i went to vivo? lol. fetched her home and end of day!

thurs - work work work. eileen UNsuprising skipped sch, yet again and went to bugis wif her frens. she met me after my work. went down to tampines to get my car. and down to 85 for dinner. fufilling one. its been so long since i ate stingray =) eileen had some problems n yes she cried in my car. but i shant elaborate further. its a secret. brought her home n i was like almost falling aslp while driving my car. fcuks. damn tired.

ok shall ends here. swt dreams.

back

2008-09-29T00:31:00.003+08:00

back from east coast park.

went all the way down to wdls to pick eileen up and den back to east coast just to let her satfisy her cravings for fried kuay teow -_-

at least she got her waffle now and all her cravings are satisfied. :)

tml back to sch again. ARGH FYCKS. J PEH AND E LIM AGAIN!!! FUCKS!

anyway my appeal email for the fyckin fine is ready. I have let ks read and his comments made me laff like mad.. LOL!!!

cutes

2008-09-28T14:36:00.003+08:00

had another long nite wif pan n gang again.

went down to pick louis and den to wdls 630 for dinner first and i was STARVING badly.
who was there, let me think
pan, barn and his gf, ks, hw, jon, alex, qy, louis and of cuz me.
hope i did not miss out anyone. lol
den we dispersed.
anyway went down to pan hse to mj 1 rnd wif pan, qy and ks. louis was thr too playin dota and distracting us watchin F1.
believe me, you guys r a fun bunch to play mj wif. lol. at least its not a dead down wif qy and ks around.
lost $7.50 but well im not surprised. luck has been down lately.

11+ already. went to pick eileen n den down to alameen for supper wif qy and ks.
pan wanted to bathe first before goin down to louis hse while the gaylord went home first.
went thr and park at the recommended slot by qy and ks n i GOT FUCKIN FINED!
fucks! shall elaborate later.
anyway upon reachin louis hse, started mj without much delay.
this time wif qy wilson and ks. but pan was winning on behalf of ks everything la! lol. keep dz dz dz. nb.
believe me. the 630 rice i ate has somesort of a drug in it. felt damn sleepy after eating the rice la! was in no mood n condition to play la..
pan also agreed.
1st rnd and my blue chip was out. but 2nd rnd greed did not set in and i managed to recoup everything back. =)

decided to had my bkfast first b4 goin home, so went down to mac wif eileen, ks and wilson.
and when i went down, ALOHA i was fined. CCB!!!!! $50!!!! and the fuckin maria came arnd 1.36am!!!
a few mins aft i parked! cheebyeeeee. really is god damn suay.
pan ks and qy steng wif me luckily. but im gonna try to appeal later on. fucked up shit.
they say i park parallel dat y get fined cuz prev they park straight nv get fined once.
cheebyeeeeee park parallel more skill and i block less way GOT WRONG MEH?
see ppl got skill and still fine him. kns.
fucks. enuff wif that demoralising shit.
i think it's fate that i hav to come out $$ that night. it's a sign..

went mac and was entertained by the conversations btwn ks and eileen. fuckin funny i swear.
ks jus non-stop gan eileen only. and she was thr smiling like a dai dai kia.
haha. ks is right. no 1 in e right mind wld smile aft he/she gets gan. but eileen did. wtfs.

sent them back and reached home arnd 7+. well a tired but fun night again =)

guess you are really cute.
that's why im thinking of you so often. =(

now i understands..

2008-09-27T01:25:00.002+08:00

now i understand wat it means by love is blind.

when you see someone you like.

somehow every flaw he/she has is covered.

even if she is not dat pretty, cute or adorable.

even if he is not handsome, macho, hunky.

well. she's not dat pretty. but y am i thinking bout her.

all the time. =/

FUCKS!

2008-09-24T19:51:00.002+08:00

FUCK..
i jus found out smth i think i shld not..
FUCKIN SIAN now.. i dunno why.

its only like 2 days? WHAT THE FUCK.

I SERIOUSLY THINK TOO MUCH..

sometimes i jus think i deserve to be burnt for being such a kpo and want to know all.

FUCKING FEELIN RESTLESS AND EMO now..

FUCKS FUCKS FUCKS

FUCKIN CHEEBYEEe.

busy

2008-09-22T19:18:00.004+08:00

wow. finally find the time to update now. been bz this week.

fri went out wif dinner at waraku wif pan n some.

sat was back to 12 E again. this time I DIN PUKE! lol.
seb was seh. louis was seh. pan was KOed. hong wei started the merlion cemreony this time rnd. =)
ks also act seh to avoid drinking more. rofl. luckily still got QY to sing wif me cuz im on e verge of losing my voice.
but hav a gre8 gre8 time thr yet again. gre8 to hang out wif u bunch of ppl. makes life fun.

sun was also hectic. knocked out the whole day until afternoon.
one game of dota. got pwned.
den went down to wdls to pick eileen n went down to the super imports nite as we decided against rotting at home.
this yr's show was sucky. not much cars n dun hav the R8 i wan to see.
at least i got to see GTRs though.
luckily she brought her cam. =)
nxt, we went down to wdls AGAIN! met up wif pan, barn, qy, ks, jonathan.
travelled to seletar reservoir but too bad no TP came to catch those hao lian kias. lol
den went down to changi n den to east coast. well they planned to do smth but din carry out.
i think was cuz eileen cant run? haha.
reached home 4+am. omfg n had sch today. but luckily not as fierce as eileen qy n ks, wahaha.
EVERY MONDAY IS PURE TORTURE. both lecturers sucks. max.

short conclusion: a very tiring yet fun week.

shall end here for nowz.

i still miss my char siew abit though =(

hell has only just begun. =)

...

2008-09-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

3 chances today..

and i blew it all..

FCUK!! WHAT E HELL IS WRONG WITH MEEEE...

sigh.

bad news

2008-09-17T19:37:00.002+08:00

first thing came to work i saw my eye candy. n my hart was grinnin.

but soon aft, viki told me one bad news..

that THE WHOLE OF DBC outside will be shiftin in n replacing everyone inside..

I AM LIKE WTF?

DEN WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME? or rather THE EYE CANDY!

omfg. i cant bliff HN wants to swap everyone in JUS CUZ SHE DUN WAN TO SEE THE QUARRELS? wat crap is this..

super fcukin low morale aft dat.. max emo..

i pray now dat it will not happen.. sigh.

fun

2008-09-14T15:17:00.002+08:00

yest night was v v fun..

haha thanks to pan n frens..

and i opened the merlion ceremony.. though it shld be qy who opened it.. lol

first time i puked outside. holy crap.

drank too much.

but its ok.. its used to make up the previous sucky night at phuture. music sucks. n full of nsfs. wtf.

luckily yest was god damn swee. =)

我愛的人不是我的愛人..

2008-09-10T01:45:00.000+08:00

我知道故事不會太曲折
我總會遇見一個什麼人
陪我過沒有了她的人生
成家立業之類的等等

她做了他覺得對的選擇
我只好祝福她真的對了
愛不到我最想要愛的人
誰還能要我怎樣呢

我愛的人　不是我的愛人
她心裡每一寸　都屬於另一個人
他真幸福　幸福得真殘忍
讓我又愛又恨　他的愛怎麼那麼深

我愛的人　她已有了愛人
從她們的眼神　說明了我不可能
每當聽見　她或他說我們
就像聽見愛情　永恆的嘲笑聲

=)

2008-09-07T03:47:00.000+08:00

weeee~

learnt smth from MOS today. at least the trip wasnt wasted.

up 1 lvl.. =D

one step forward.

2008-09-06T03:16:00.001+08:00

YES LA! one step forward.

though it isnt gre8 but still at least im moving. =)

but sad thing is my motivation aint gonna be thr for the next week. sigh..

dnd uploaded

2008-09-02T22:40:00.001+08:00

photos of my dnd r uploaded =)

not all though.. still have quite a no. wif matin.. will get it done by tml..

muahahaha..

1 gd news n 1 bad news..

gd news: i finally gt her email!

bad news: she's not online.. =(

sigh. tot of shuttin this blog soon. any comments? =/

=)

2008-08-31T02:09:00.001+08:00

thank you maybank, thank you dmt, especially jocelyn for you know what ;)

had a gre8 time today.

mark lee is god damn funny.. same for kuma and the FD.

=))

sad

2008-08-29T19:55:00.001+08:00

boring day. no motivation at work at all.

my motivational factor wasnt there. =(

nevertheless, im looking forward to tomorrow!!!

finally.. and i hope jocelyn does keep her promise of assisting me. hehehe =)

blown

2008-08-28T22:33:00.002+08:00

god damn it.. does god wanna give me a chance or not i wonder..

it's like so close! den i missed it by THIS much.. sigh..

just one more step.. but situational circumstances does not permit..

zzz..

2 more days!!!!

affected

2008-08-26T22:21:00.001+08:00

fuck..

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

should I or should I not?

i dun wan to be the bad guy...

but...

sigh..